Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Keeping it to myself

I've never been an "over sharer" and I've always had trouble completely opening up to people, even my own family and best friends.  I'm not sure why I've had issues talking to my parents in the past. I've gotten better with it, but it's still an issue that I battle with. It's not even that my parents are judgemental or harsh people... they're the exact opposite! I couldn't have asked for better parents. They've never criticized any decisions that I have made and they've always been 100% supportive in everything that I have done.

The same goes with my friends. Rarely do I complain or vent to them (that's what friends are for!) and I'm always the first one they come to when they need to vent. I'm constantly giving advise on relationships, babies, work, etc... yet I find it so hard to ask for advise from them.

Growing up overweight obese creates a lot of insecurities. I worry SO much what other people think of me. Not just on my appearance, but my romantic life, work life, etc.

Here's a good example: I work with some amazing ladies and I'm pretty close with about 10 of them. When I started dating my boyfriend, only 2 of them knew. My boyfriend and I took things slow and we never did have that "relationship talk". So of course, I was constantly wondering if we were going to last or if we were "serious" and if we did end things, the last thing I wanted to do is have to explain to everyone in my office that we broke up. Because of my constant insecurities and wondering what people would think.. I didn't tell my coworkers that I had a boyfriend for 5 months... FIVE MONTHS! Needless to say, they were shocked and slightly offended that I never told them. When I look back at it, it was stupid of me for worrying so much. Everyone goes through breakups and even if things didn't work out, my coworkers would never have judged me, but I hate being the centre of attention like that.
(It also took me about 2 months to mention my bf to my parents and that's only because I lived with my sister and she told them first!).

I haven't told anyone that I've started this blog. I'm not sure if I want to. I've never told anyone how much I actually weigh and the thought of everyone knowing (including my boyfriend!) scares the crap out of me!
Perhaps I'll feel more comfortable with it once I'm closer to my goal weight. Who knows, maybe blogging will help me open more to the people in my life.

In the mean time, I'll just overshare with blogging community :)

Does anyone else have this issue? Does your spouse/bf/friends know how much you weigh?


  1. The only person who knows about my blog is my husband! I haven't told anyone else. I feel like no one would understand my weight loss struggles and all, and people might laugh at me trying to workout.
    And the only reason I have been open about my weight to family and friends is because I just had a baby 6 months ago- so I say it's the baby weight! haha. When it's some baby weight, and some just me being overweight.
    Maybe us blogging will help us be more open to people!

    1. I would probably be more inclined to tell people my weight if it was baby weight too lol.
      I don't think people would understand my struggles either and it would be like they were inside my head reading my thoughts... and that scares me. I think the blogging will help with opening up eventually :)

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  3. I am excited to follow your journey. You are a beautiful person and I think it's great that you're able to speak through your blog. I completely understand the hesitancy to tell people things though.

  4. When my husband and I started dating, I never told him my weight. When I was pregnant with our first child, I made him leave the exam room when the doctor and I discussed my weight. It wasn't until I finally weighed less than him that I told him my weight and he still doesn't believe that I was ever as big as I was. Now that I'm in the 170's/160's, I'm not so scared to tell people how much I weigh. I still don't tell a lot of people about my blog though - I don't want people to know how badly I let myself get...

    1. It's funny how our brain works. They clearly love us the way we are, but for some reason we think that telling them our weight will make them love us less or something. I will probably tell my boyfriend once I weigh less then him as well :)
      I'm not sure when or if I'll tell people about my blog... it won't be anytime soon, that's for sure!

  5. Yet another thing we have in common. And no, I'm not stalking you lol I found your blog and decided to start from the beginning and am finding we have a lot in common. Ok, so I'm right there with you. I've always been the kind of person that likes to keep things very personal. I don't share a lot with anyone. I haven't told anyone I'm trying to lose weight and I definitely haven't told anyone I've started the blog-not even my kids!

    I'm not sure why because I know they'd be totally suppotive but I feel like if people in my "real life" start reading it, then I won't feel like I can be completely open. And that's what I need right now. Don't feel bad, you aren't the only one.



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